Empty Chairs (Kind of endowed)

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Governor Brad Henry recommended that the Legislature authorize a bond issue of 75 million dollars to fund the "State Part" of endowed chairs at our colleges and universities. I asked the guys over at the Higher Regents "How many endowed chairs are there?" The rely was "About two hundred and forty." Thinking about those chairs I asked "Two hundred and forty endowed?" "Oh No," he replied."Two hundred and forty partially endowed chairs." The private money is there, the state money is not. That is why the Governor asked for more." "Where are these chairs sitting?" the idiot in me asked, knowing full well the answer would lead me into territory only a idiot would follow. "Well, the most of them are in the southern half."

"Does the North have some?" "Yeah, some." What about the others?" "Some."

Then I understood the brilliance behind the "Self-perpetuating endowed chair game."

Scene: A Person is talking to a Wealthy Person. "Walter, if you will give the U one million dollars we will call it the Walter Chair of Good Works in the Department of This and That and your name will live forever!" Chair experts will tell you that one million will only build about one-third of a real chair because no self-respecting chair sitter will accept todays yield on one million as a salary or whatever it is called in academe.

Wealthy Person donates the money for plaque. Pretty soon the Wealthy Person begins to ask "Is anybody sitting in my chair?" (I can't help to add thoughts of Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear as in five million, four million, three million. "Not yet" replies A Person, "We need to go to the Legislature and the Governor for money to finish this chair. You sir, can help by calling all those legislators you have contributed to over the years and either demand or plead "Help me finish my Chair!"

Now logic may force some to wonder about the math here. 200+ chairs times one million equals(something) which is just sitting there (not in the chairs) earning something which goes for something else until the Legislature finishes the chairs.

Now, all of you who have rich friends who are thinking about their chair might want to ask them How is the chair coming? What color is it? Orange or Red or Green and White. Then you might ask, Who sits in your chair and what are they doing? Do you have a 'Chair Report' or just a report from from A Person?